Just a gal telling a tale

 WHERE IN THE WORLD‽

July 27, 2020 - My Apartment, Rochester, NY

Have you ever heard of Saturn’s Return? They say that it’s an astrological happening that really comes in swinging in your late 20’s. So just imagine everything you know and love about yourself just flipping itself upside down. Values questioned and changed.

This is exactly what I’m going through right now *nervous laughter.*

Not only am I sitting in my very own apartment. First time living alone and first time living in an actual house in three and a half years, but I’m meeting with my family’s real estate attorney on Friday about the offer that my father and I are putting in on my grandfather’s old house. I’m currently full-steam-ahead chasing my childhood dream of starting a Bed & Breakfast.

I just feel something has shifted in me. I’ve always been on the go-go-go, not really caring about tomorrow but knowing I’ll get through it somehow. But now. All I can think about is roots and community and building something bigger than myself. Babies are even cute now. I’m 28 and something has slapped me in the face recently and it feels a hell of a lot like adulthood.

But listen, I ain’t mad.

When I want something, I make it happen. I put my everything into it and this is no different. I’m excited.

But maybe prepare yourself to see me getting my home reno on a bit more than I’m climbing mountains in the approaching future.

Thanks for taking the time to read me rambling about going through Changes. Expect more updates on The Gauger House - coming soon. And please enjoy this photo of me on my new porch because though many things are constantly changing, some things never will.

Love & Butt Touches, Gabi <3

December 9th, 2019 - Just Down-River from Semuc Champey, Lanquín, Guatemala

I’m sitting at the communal table at Ch’i Bocól Community Hostel which is quite literally in the middle of the jungle in Guatemala. We arrived here last night after an eight hour bus ride in from Flores, Guatemala. This bus ride was followed by a thirty minute ride in the back of a pick up truck that could have made a sailor ralph. But we weren’t there yet. Packs on backs, we trekked a grueling thirty minutes single file through the slippery jungle in the dark, across a wobbly rope bridge, and along the sides of mountains until we finally arrived and were greeted with, “Hello. Welcome. Put down your packs. Does anyone need a beer?” All of this to get to Semuc Champey.

This stop is part of a five week trip that I’m on with my friend Naomi. This trip started on November 17th, when we hopped a bus up to Toronto out of Rochester, NY. From there we flew red eye into San Pedro Sula, Honduras and quickly zipped from there over to La Ceiba - the launch point of Utila - a big scuba diving hub. We spent eleven days there obtaining our Open Water and Advanced Open Water certifications. P.s. I highly recommend Alton’s Dive Center there. They were great and very affordable.

It was beautiful and wonderful and we made great friends and saw great sights while also battling some pretty severe heat rashes and an overnight hospital stay for Naomi due to Montezuma’s ever-so-infamous revenge.

From there we moved on to Lívingston, Guatemala - a cute little coastal town that’s only accessible via boat giving in a very ‘island’ vibe. This tiny town is notably different from the rest of Guatemala due to it’s melting pot of cultures, inhabited by the Ladino, Maya and the Garifuna Afro-Caribbean peoples. A notable feature of this area is the Siete Altares, which is a series of clear and blue fresh-water pools and waterfalls that eventually flow out into the ocean. To get to this natural paradise, all ya gotta do is take tuk tuk out of town to this foot bridge and then walk along the beach for about 35 minutes. But how many pools are there, you ask?! You guessed it, it’s seven.

After Lívingston we hopped a boat up to Punta Gorda, Belize. From there we took a bus up to Belize City and then another boat to get over to the very cool island of Caye Caulker. I was stoked to finally make it to Belize!

Me making it to Belize meant that I’d now been to every country in Central America.

I could now check this off the inconsistent and ever-changing list I keep in my head of all the things I’m going to do with my life.

We took a snorkeling tour while we were in Caye Caulker and I don’t have an underwater camera but I will tell you that this snorkeling tour was in the top tier of experiences I’ve enjoyed. We saw a manatee, a gigantic and ancient sea turtle, a sunken ship, sea horses, beautiful coral, and had the opportunity to swim with about ten nurse sharks. At one point during this, I looked down and one was swimming right under me. It must have been nine feet long. We also saw a group of eagle rays (which I just learned is called a fever) literally come out of the blue, as we were swimming through a deep underwater valley of coral. There were seven of them, gliding towards us in what felt like a delicately choreographed dance routine, then they split into two groups and went off to either side of us. The only words that I’ve been able to come up with to describe this experience are: fucking majestic.

Caye Caulker is super cute and the snorkeling was great and I had a ton of fun while I was there, but Belize City is an entirely different story. I have never felt so harassed and been so catcalled as when we were in Belize City. Damn near every man we passed on the sidewalk had something to say to us. One man even chased after us down the street yelling “hello, hello, helloooo,” then he insisted that Naomi turn around to look at him, said he wouldn’t stop following us until she did because he wanted to know what color her eyes were, all-the-while becoming increasingly aggravated that we were ignoring him. Then he called her the woman with no hair and went away, finally. And to be completely clear here, Naomi has some hair. And also, fuck that guy.

Now I wouldn’t say, don’t go to Belize City or stray outside of the main tourist attractions but be prepared for this. It was blazing hot there and we were wearing clothing that perhaps reflected such, and perhaps making us targets for this absurd behavior. I will now make note that you can wear whatever the fuck you want and these men should fuck off but an entire country isn’t going to wake up overnight. As a feminist woman, it pains me to say this, but if you wanted to avoid this, again, absurd reaction to your existence as human, you could wear something a bit more conservative. Or don’t and tell ‘em all to fuck off; change has to start somewhere.

BACK TO THE FUN. I’ve got a HOT story coming about Belize next, but you’re just gonna have to hold onto your britches for that one, it’s nearly ready to be sent to my editor.

From Belize we bopped back to Guatemala to the city of Flores to meet up with our friend Gaby! That’s right folks, another Gaby. Gaby and her partner Diego were kind enough to host us in their home for three days. During this time Gaby let us sit in on one of the yoga classes she teaches which totally kicked our asses. She took us to visit some Mayan ruins at Yaxha where we got to hang out with spider and howler monkeys while we watched the sun set. She also helped us to Mopan waterfall which is really not accessible to tourists. It was complete with glowing blue-green water, multiple platforms to jump from and a mf’in zip-line. Then we went out on the town to jive some tunes and eat some dank foods. HUGE thank you to Gaby and Diego.

From Flores I bring you back to the beginning of this entry. The eight hour bus ride, the jolting pick up truck, the hike to Ch’i Bocól. Today we hiked 45 minutes through the mountains to get to Kan Ba Caves. At these caves, you strip down to your swim gear and they throw you a pair of Crocs and a candle and take the rest of your stuff. Time for the candlelit “tour” which is a wet and wild trek/climb/swim through the cave system. Up a waterfall, down a natural slide. All with this candle in your hand. Inside of a pitch black cave full of flowing water. My candle must have gone out four or five times but todo bien, someone is nearby to light you up again. Just down a path from this cave you come to a waterfall. Semuc Champey is an area known for it’s natural limestone land bridge. Beneath it is the Cahabón River and above it is a series a tiered pools the color of happy tears. The waterfall that you see down the path from this cave is where the river reemerges again from beneath the earth and the pools of the land bridge fall to meet them. No photo will ever do this natural paradise any sort of justice but I’ll show you a few anyway.

And from there we floated back to our hostel where I write to you now.

Now if you’ve made through all of this heavy reading, congratulations! You’ve earned your prize!

Here’s a super steamy tale for all of you perverts.

And as always,

Love & Butt Touches, Gabi <3

May 25th, 2019 - Denver, Colorado

I’m currently sitting across the bar from my friend and comic, Meghan DePonceau at Gerard’s Pool Hall where she works.

Recently, Meghan spoke publicly about a rare condition she has which she explains here,

“Dear Family & Friends,

For those that know, know I suffer from hyper fertility (my body constantly produces eggs) and have attempted to be proactive by trying every form of birth control & every cocktail of birth control. Whilst, every doctor has lied to me about the age they would tie my tubes (first it was 21, then 23, then 27... now 30) My last doctor told me she would do the procedure once my husband signed off on it. 
YES, HERE IN DENVER I WAS TOLD THAT…”

You can read the rest of her story HERE.

And then she created a fundraiser for the Yellowhammer Fund. Yellowhammer Fund provides financial and other assistance to those seeking abortion care in the State of Alabama. The Fund also seeks to promote reproductive justice throughout the state and community.

Meghan created a fundraiser to raise $600. She far exceeded her goal and raised $943.

With everything going on politically in Alabama, Georgia, Missouri, and other states, I feel that now is an appropriate time to talk about my abortions…

I’d like to double Meghan’s original goal and raise $1200 for the Yellowhammer Fund.

Please consider donating - Click the image below to be directed to the fundraiser.

Another way that you can support a woman’s right to choice and her own body would be by purchasing a ticket to an event I organized. The Big “G” Jam is a music & arts community weekend hosted on some of my family’s land, The “G” Lodge.

This event shines a spotlight on women in music and the arts and is a benefit for Planned Parenthood of Central & Western New York.

You can purchase your ticket and support your community by clicking HERE.

Meghan will be traveling all the way out to The “G” Lodge from Denver to host a special late night comedy show at Big “G” Jam called Lady Marmalade which will showcase all women. Get more info on this event HERE.

Thank you for taking the time to read this through and if you’re able, making a donation.

I’ll be back in touch soon but until then, Love & Butt Touches, Gabi <3

April 18th, 2019 - Lake Rotorua, North Island, New Zealand

I’m currently sitting in a cafe alongside beautiful Lake Rotorua on the North Island of New Zealand.

I’ve been in the country just a few days short of a month at this point and sadly this trip is almost over for me.

In the past week alone, I have jumped out of a plane (a pink plane) at Lake Taupo, gotten a tattoo, climbed a mountain (Isthmus Peak), swam in hot springs (Spa Park in Taupo) and way way more. That’s just the tip of the iceberg and only within the past week! I’m working on a full article about all of the things I’ve been getting into in this past month but it’s a lot so it’s taking me a while to get it down. Keep your eyes out for that! I should have it in the next week!

But until then, I’ve got a story about having a life-saving surgery in Southeast Asia,

Check it out!

Beyond all the crazy adventuring and van-traveling here in NZ, I’ve been hard at work crafting a new website with an incredible event calendar for The “G” Lodge’s 2019 season! Peep the new site for details,

I’ll be back in touch with my full New Zealand update but until then,

Love & butt touches, Gabi <3

P.S. I said I’d send butt pics (at Cape Reinga at the most northern point in New Zealand).

March 9th, 2019 - Somewhere in California

It has been two entire months since I’ve written! I’ve been busy! It’s true!

What have I been up to? WELL! Before I dive into that, let me hit you with not one, but two new stories:

One Funny - One in a Million. One Sexy - La Petite Mort

Thank you for your patience.

Now, if you don’t know, my father and I run a company called Hey Dude After Hours and we produce festivals of the art and music variety out on some of our family land in Hannibal, NY - The “G” Lodge. (I’m currently rebuilding the website so don’t event try to look it up, lol. HERE, check out the Facebook for now.)

As of just yesterday, we announced an event that we’re doing to celebrate the 50th Anniversary of Woodstock 1969 and YOU should check it out, it’s free. (I’m gonna hit y’all with another event announcement next week too.)

I’ve been neck-deep in planning for this year’s events! As I’ve been finalizing schedules and lineups I haven’t been finding the time to write (until now). But thankfully, my friend Kristy Mangle, Editor at Qween City, has picked up my slack and written an article about me for all of you to enjoy. We dive into some details in this piece about me that I’m a little more reluctant to share, and we touch, a little bit, on my work history and how a gal like me supports herself on the road.

Other reasons I have been too busy to write include a fast-paced trip to Mexico City and Medellin, Colombia with a lover.

In Mexico City, I ate lots of tacos and wandered through narrow pedestrian streets.

Then visited some ruins called Teotihuacan, more popularly known to house the Pyramid of the Sun.

Then scooted out to a see some Lucha Libre, which is somewhere I honestly never thought I’d find myself. It’s Mexican professional wrestling; it is incredible. I didn’t get great photos so just do yourself a favor and look it up. Or just watch this:

From there we flew to Medellin, Colombia. I found myself a bit under the weather while there but I did find the energy to climb the 740 steps to the top of Piedra del Penol!

And then had the privilege of wandering around the most colorful village I never knew existed, Guatape.

It was absolutely aDOORable.

And next Wednesday I’m finally off to New Zealand! (Will send butt pics)

Love & butt touches, Gabi <3

January 9th, 2019 - Shelton, Washington

Today, I’m sitting in my dear friend, Brittany Chiasson’s kitchen, looking out the window at the beautifully tranquil Hammersley Inlet writing to you about the most incredible and fast-moving year of my life: 2018.

January 1st, 2018 I woke up to find myself in sunny San Diego. My lips were tired from kissing all of the beautiful humans the night before. The new year was bringing me electric love piled atop new opportunity and I had smiles for miles. But on the final day of 2018 I woke up feeling dumpy. Because everyone gets sad; even me. But instead of sulking in this rut, I wanted to take some time to talk about all of the things I’ve done, the places I’ve been and everything that I accomplished this year because honestly, it was the best year of my life.

This post is going to be a long one, so order yourself a pizza and strap in tight…

Love & butt touches, Gabi <3

December 17th, 2018 - Rochester, New York

Halló! (As they say in Iceland)

I returned from the great volcanic island just under a week ago and I haven’t slowed down in the slightest! If you’re interested in seeing photos from the trip, there are more than a handful of on my Instagram page @gabigogos. You can also view my brother’s photo album from the trip HERE and follow him on Instagram @iangauger.

NOW, A lot of people have hit me up, asking me for tips and help with budgeting, and I was going to do a big post on it but I really don’t feel like I was there long enough to cover enough ground to be able to give any credible advice. I will tell you all that the round trip ticket out of Toronto airport only cost $260 and our higher-end 4WD SUV only cost about $350 for the week. We needed this SUV, specifically, because it is winter time there right now and the roads get very icy, but if you’re planning to go in the summer time, you can get a more affordable economy vehicle but only if you book it very far in advance because of the heavy amount of tourism in the warmer months. Hostels run $20-$30 and the Blue Lagoon (which you really must go see), is very expensive, so be prepared for that. Going out to eat/drink is expensive - I can’t emphasize this enough, BUT the grocery stores are relatively affordable and all of the hostels have kitchens so if you’re trying to travel on a budget, just make your own food.

So, in place of a big post on traveling Iceland, I’m so very excited to present to you all,

As my dear friend Adrien D’Angelo got to learn yesterday, if you call me up at 7am talking some nonsense about rebranding the clown as “sexy,” I will 100% show up at your front door 5 hours later with a clown costume in hand. At the end of the day he told me, “I will never doubt you again.” I am really pleased with the way this photo shoot turned out, to the point that Adrian and I have decided to create a character series for Chloe and you can now follow her Instagram page @chloeclownsaround - so please give that a follow if it tickles your interest and expect to start seeing more of her.

I really hope y’all enjoy Chloe as much as I enjoyed creating her.

Love & butt touches, Gabi <3

December 7th, 2018 - Reykjavik, Iceland

It has been ages since I have been able to update this-here blog and it’s because I have been INSANELY busy. Since the last time that I wrote I wrapped up at the farm that I was working on in Oregon and I drove across the country back home to New York. And just to shake it up a bit, and because I sometimes think that I’m invisible, I threw in a spontaneous trip to Burlington, VT for a night to go see Wild Child. They’re an Austin-based, Indie band and currently playing in my head on repeat. Specifically their song, Expectations (shout-out to my girl Katie Mangiamele for coming with and stepping up to do some driving)

On the great journey east, I made a few stops along the way:

Night 0. Southern Oregon

Night 1. Salt Lake City, Utah for pizza and hot-tub wine with a cutie.

Night 2. Denver, Colorado for a RAD night out with friends at The Gothic Theater to see California Honeydrops (shout-out to Jonah Hurst for the birthday tickets!) These cats are a high-energy Oakland-based band that flirts with the blues, soul, and New Orleans; very danceable. Listen to them HERE

Night 3. Kansas City, Missouri. It was supposed to be a single gin martini at a jazz club Meghan Deponceau had suggested to me the night before called The Phoenix. That martini, of course, didn’t end there as I met some folks sitting by me at the bar. They bought me an IPA and pointed me down the road to another divey spot because I wan’t ready for bed when the lights came on. I wiggled into bar 2 for free because apparently I can sweet-talk a door man. I bought a beer I thought to be skunky upon further inspection which got me a free one and the skunky beer conversation made me some more new friends that fed me chicken wings, pitchers of cheap beer, shots of Jameson and sent me home with a cheeseburger. Night 3 is a night which I refer to as a success.

Night 4. Fort Wayne, Indiana. ‘Why Fort Wayne’ you want to know? BECAUSE MY HIGH SCHOOL BESTIE, Sarah Colletta lives there! So when I went to write her “let’s just keep it chill tonight, I’ve had a couple crazy ones the past few days,” she had beat me to the text message sending game and my phone pinged with something along the lines of “We’re hitting the town to night so be readyyyyyy” all cute and shit. FINE. I’VE DONE THIS BEFORE AND I’LL DO IT AGAIN. Ain’t my first rodeo. We went to a club called Flashbacks and boy was it ever. Every song I loved from childhood until the end of middle school graced those speakers and I shook my booty like it was middle school too. The night ended with me exhausting myself and deciding that the backseat of Sarah’s car in the parking lot was a suitable place for me to lay my head.

Night 5. Buffalo, New York. As I drove east on the 190, the lit skyline emerged against a navy night sky and brought a smile to my face; the smell of Cheerios wafted into my nostrils and I felt my chest warm with love. I was home. I had dinner at Mother’s, my favorite restaurant in Buffalo, with a darling of mine followed by a truly blurry Buffalo night-turned-to-morning. Some places really just remain a time-capsule in an ever-changing world. Buffalo is that for me.

Night 6. Burlington, Vermont. Because sometimes you just have to see that new band you just found out about and the only option is over 6 hours away. Listen to this song too, because it’s great and the music video is weird in a great way. Crazy Bird by Wild Child.

Night 7. Rochester, NY. Popped in to take my mom out to dinner for her 60th birthday. I slept in my van in the freezing cold even though there were thousands of warm beds indoors for me to sleep in, because when you love a girl named Bessie, sometimes she just wins.

Night 8. An airplane somewhere over the Atlantic. Because on this day 8, I boot-scooted my tush back to Buffalo to drop off my van and make my way up to Toronto, Ontario, Canada where my brother Ian and I caught a flight to where we are now: Reykjavik, Iceland.

Yesterday we visited the famous Blue Lagoon and got in-water massages that left me feeling like a grocery bag of goo. The Blue Lagoon is a geothermic spring filled with super-smoothing silica water. This spring isn’t as natural as the other hot springs I tend to visit but it is a hell of a lot nicer (and more expensive). But don’t worry, I’m not over here walking on water or anything, the hostel bed knocked some balance back into my body and this morning I awoke with a lower back which had suggested that the mattress was not actually made out of fabric and padding but rather some fallen logs and tree bark. Oh the joys of traveling…

Tomorrow we plan to travel north to do some sight-seeing and hopefully see the great Northern Lights!

WISH US LUCK!

Love & butt-touches, Gabi <3

P.s. Check out the JUST THE PICS section below for photo updates!

November 13th, 2018 - Southern Oregon, USA

I’m currently in southern rural Oregon working on a farm trying to stack some cash for my upcoming trip to ICELAND!

My brother Ian and I just bought our plane tickets yesterday and we leave for a 5-day trip to the great Land of Ice in about 3 weeks. I typically get pretty excited for a trip when I book it and then I pretty much forget about it until it’s time to pack. I’ve gotten pretty good at packing over the years, I typically just bring the same exact things. I have a stack of clothes that work pretty good anywhere, underwear, hairbrush, toothbrush, toothpaste, a journal... what more do you really need? BUT this time, we’re going somewhere cold. And I don’t usually DO the cold.

So WHY are we going to Iceland in the winter?

We’re going because my brother has vacation time from work that he needs to use, we’ve both always wanted to go anddd we’re hoping to see Aurora Borealis. THAT’S RIGHT FOLKS, the Northern Lights.

I’ve probably just jinxed us writing this but what the hell, we’ll see what happens!

Love & Butt-Touches, Gabi <3

Wanna see my butt?

Just the pics